Devika

For World Problems - My Views,My Opinions and My Solutions





















Please do not read any further if you are going to watch this movie. I am writing for people who can't see the film and where it is ban. 










Spoiler Alert . Stop reading.









 Go watch film if you can. 









Are you sure you can't watch movie ?





















Final Warning 


Synopsis

I saw lipstick under my Burkha in a private viewing in London. It is a story of 4 women 1 is young teenager(Plabita Borthakur)and she wears burkha and she is from conservative family and then she goes to college and wears jeans take part in protests to wear Jeans. She smokes,drinks and have a boyfriend ( Shashank Arora) She even steals dress from shop for which she gets caught because her boyfriend had pregnanted another girl who had to have abortion.

Second story is about a girl who works in beauty parlour girl ( Aahana Kumara) who is about to get married to a overly sweet nice boy ( Vaibbhav Tattwawdi ) because of pressure of her mother (Sonal Jha) ( her mother is also art model nude artist and she was going to get an apartment from her girl's fiance) but girl is in love with a muslim boy( Vikrant Massey) who is a photographer and also taking photos of their engagement. Beauty Parlour Girl has sex with photographer on day of her engagement and takes video of it. Her fiance is sweet gives her lots of gifts and attention. She would have to live in joint family and in crowded place. Her mother knows about other guy still wants her to get married to this fiance.She wants to run away to Delhi but then she doesn't because muslim guy isn't ready. He gets jealous when she starts getting close to her fiance. Her fiance finds video of her sex and confronts her. She is shown confused until end.

Third women is a Muslim woman ( Konkana Sen Sharma) married to a Muslim man ( Sushant Singh)
who used to work in Saudi and return after sometime and always used to have unprotected sex with his wife which would cause her to abort and take pills. They have 3 children and they have lots of sex but he doesn't treat her right or even kiss her. She had lot of pain but her husband won't wear condom. Doctor also explains. She is very ambitious and good saleswoman , gives speech and selling things but her husband doesn't know all this as she is afraid to tell him. She has been offered job for Sales Trainer. She finally realizes that her husband doesn't have a job until he is able to empty old building where they live to rebuilt and instead he goes everyday to a cafe. He even has an affair with another woman. She sees couple of times and then she follows affair woman and demonstrates some products. One of the product was for facial exercise and she basically offered from her mouth one to her. Affair woman says how can I take something which is from your mouth to my mouth. She then tells her I am wife of her husband. Husband then punishes her still with sex and asks her not try to be husband and remain wife.


Fourth woman  (Ratna Pathak) is also owner of building where they all live. She is old around 55 and government asking them to leave house as it is getting old. They are in Bhopal.  She goes swimming with kids and kid fools her that he is going to drown so she tries to save him but instead she gets wet. She is Buaji and she forgets her own name until very young and well built instructor asks him what's her name. She goes to buy swimming costume as she has been asked by this handsome swimming instructor to come for training.She is very shy and lies that swimming costume is for some other girl. She lies that she is going to satsang when actually she is going to swimming. She starts calling this handsome swimming instructor and they have phone sex. So when swimming instructor thought that he is talking to very young and beautiful woman called Rosy. Rosy was actually this old woman and he was very disappointed when he finally realizes that.  Buaji lived with other people and everyone comes to know about her Mills and Boons Collection in Hindi even people living with her and asks to leave building. They throw away all her stuff. 

Throughout movie there is also narration from Mills and Boons Hindi Version by Ratna Pathak . Devastated all 4 women sit together and only last 3 pages were left and they realize that they all have dreams and have courage to dream. It didn't matter whether they came true or not. 



My thoughts about movie : 


It is most liked by movie and really those are same sort of feelings felt by different women at different age. 


Whether as a Teenager you aren't able to pursue college fully or your interests.

Whether as a Young Woman you aren't able to decide whom  to marry.
Whether as a Woman with children you aren't allowed to work or your spouse is cheating on you while you are taking care of children.
Whether as a Widow you aren't allowed to have any life apart from being religious and if you are still alive and kicking sexually there is something wrong with you.

Why it got banned?


This is what wikipedia says :

"The story is lady oriented, their fantasy above life. There are contanious [sic] sexual scenes, abusive words, audio pornography and a bit sensitive touch about one particular section of society"

I personally feel the reason it got banned is because of name "Lipstick under my Burkha"


I also do not think that it represents all of India. At all times we should remember that this is just a story in some small place. However there is some reality in these stories but not all. 


Would "one particular section of society" (cough...Muslim/ Islamic) would be offended? I am not sure. It does bring up issue of Burkha but there isn't much said apart from her general suffocation in not being able to be creative whether by singing or by exploring fashion. Women are expected to wear Burkha but whether one sees this as restrictive or not is subjective. Subject of Burkha / hijab gets discussed in Western Countries quiet a lot. How somebody wearing it is seen as oppressive to women. However if you watch movie carefully underlying message is women are oppressed whether they are dressed in Burkha or not. One does realize that it has got nothing to do with the way they are dressed?


Another topic I felt that movie portrayal that young woman's definition of freedom to be equivalent to going to audition, how she dresses, smokes, drinks and having boyfriend could be sort of behaviour not wanting to be encouraged in Indian Society. None of them are interlinked. 

Somebody wearing saree doesn't define that she is morally good or has good character.
Somebody wearing trousers and shirt tell that they are having many boyfriends.

Men were also portrayed in a lousy light. Indian Men are portrayed with horror of domestic violence, rape,etc. 


Why it shouldn't have been banned?

India is and have always been open about sex until it was colonized. We invented Kama Sutra. We don't want to talk about sex. Actions like this reaffirm that India is conservative and not ready for Indian female voice. However seeing several Bollywood Film I can confirm that Indian youth and society is ready for this sort of movie. Whatever was in the movie is actually happening in real life. There are lots of western movies with lot of nudity is in cinemas and on prime time TV in India.

It is very much acceptable to talk about Rape in India in a daytime television but not Female Sexuality which is indeed shame.

It is wonderful story of 4 women and it is funny and relatable to most women and would have been good education for men.



I recently met a wonderful girl and we had wonderful conversation about writing. I sat in a room full of 100s of people and person next to me is the only person  whom I really need to talk to on How writing helps and as usual I asked lots of questions.  I love her even though I have only seen her once and I look forward to see her work one day finished as I think it would really help lot of people.

I am writing in response to this wonderful blogposts
http://www.impressivity.net/movie-review-lalaland/

We both agree nothing happen by coincidence.


What is good about La La Land?

Apart from obvious it is set in LA and it has lovely music dancing and singing.
La LaLand despite shot in most cheesy way and have over the top animation.

Real : Movie is real. In real life, most Love Stories do not have happy ending.

American Dream : It also talks lot of reality of life of actor,pianist, hollywood and struggles they both had. Mia and Sebastin

Crossroads :  It talks about cross roads in everyone life and how making different choices would have let them live different life. Despite I believe that you fight for things you REALLY want. I also feel that there are sometimes circumstances which are beyond our control. (a bit coward approach! which I don't agree with but sometime shit happens !) Everything happens for a reason ! I don't see it that way always and I question so much but in the end everything always makes sense.

Choices :  Despite Mia and Sebastian love each other they both could have made different choices and  they both equally were selfish or career driven and they both helped each other in their life whether Sebastian taking Mia to that acting audition or whether Mia telling Sebabstian about Jazz bar.

Amazing Ending : I would only see that movie all over again just for that movie ending. As much as we really want happy ending sometimes reality isn't that happy.  It was sad that Mia and Sebastian couldn't be together but had they made different choices they would be in different situation, perhaps Sebastian would be driving her to some Jazz club and they would live happily ever after or they could have been really incompatible and end up killing each other. Who knows?

Closure : It is essential for lovers to get closure to have that one correspondence, one sentiment and that one look. This isn't always possible as how ugly couple might have left or they find it overwhelming to give that closure due to various reasons.  Sometimes that's all relationship need and people need to move on. There is this one scene where Mia is horrified to see Sebastian after being successful actress and having husband and child. Seeing Sebastian in his own Jazz club but they both give each other one last look which said so much from "Everything is okay!" , " You would be alright!" , " I am alright!"  I guess lots of couples got closure by relating with actors. Hopefully lots of broken heart got mended, healed or got closure  and thus I think people liked this movie.

P.S: You wouldn't believe while I am writing this in a pub on TV  there is song of La La Land. ...lol :-)




I didn't really want to share this but I feel it could be helpful who is like me trying to raise children abroad or just generally raising a child and how hard it feels.

I have 2 and half years old son who is mixed race.
I would say best way for busy Indian Parents to retain their Indianism is following :
Before I start realize this that you are Indian and that is your identity. Your child wouldn’t be Indian per se.
Like in Movie Befikre girl calls herself French and parents as Indian.
That is biggest truth that your child is going to have other host country Identity and Indian Heritage. The truth is that no matter how we feel inside and how much we adapt “ We are seen as Indian “ because of our skin colour and that we can’t change.
However your child would be influenced by you and you can give positive influences and share your culture with them.
It is harder than ever to retain and at the same time as Millenials we do not feel we should be pushy like our parents.
It is hard not because we don’t know how to balance East or West influences. We ourselves are busy adapting and knowing new culture. I have reached a state where I can say that I know about my host culture well enough that my time isn’t going in reading and learning new things.
Firstly bigger question is how do you retain your own Indian identity ? Are you Proud of your own Indian-ism ? Also Is it important to you ? as I feel we go through love hate with our own ties. Unlike our previous generation we aren’t so much nationalist and more of globalist. This is where India is as well which I realized on my recent trip.
India is not a country not a chaos but an environment which you can’t replicate. There are pictures of god, faith and hope everywhere.
Indian Spirituality : This is our core and most important value which is missing in West. Make a small ritual which you can share with your child. We do not want our children to be smelling like our past generation parents mistake and made fun. It might be as simple as lighting diya and having god images. Shradha, faith, belief in Karma and Hope which one gets from God. Where Science and Religion can live together with fight. That is what India is. Go to Indian Temples if near you. Watch Philosophical youtube videos.
Indian Food : Enjoy all your Indian Foods as you used to and share with your children when you can. They would be also into other foods. Why Not ? Aren’t you as well. However make some point to make those Indian foods which you crave. Your child wouldn’t like it but you are still enjoying it and hopefully they would remember. When we are busy defrosting chips, pizzas and colas.
Indian Bad Habits : As cliche and as it sounds but West has got all good things and left all bad things in India. Your child wouldn’t know phenol smell like Indian Toilets have or how to use normal soap maybe ( shower gel ?) ,how to cross a road, live in crowded places, without electricity, water,internet,etc, he wouldn’t have same toilet habits as you. Remember all parents want to give better living to our child but I feel somewhere we want them to know and learn hardships of life which and appreciate good life.
Yoga, Meditation and Ayurveda : We ourselves don’t value this despite it is good thing in our life and people are promoting all this in West. Most times I come to know good things like Yoga, Meditation and Ayurveda from Western person who has decided to make it into courses or videos. Go to those places and if you are into it. Use those natural products.
Indian Movies and Songs : If you like to watch Indian Movies and Songs then watch them and if your child is interested. My son dances on Indian Song and he watches . Love of famous actors and actresses. Indian Sports especially Cricket.
Indian Language : This gets trickier as there is more Media in English even in India. There aren’t enough resource to teach your native language and everytime I go I buy books which my son sometimes refuse to even read. I still bring them keep them around and sometimes he picks up on his own. So speak your own language even when you feel alone or only person who speaks to your kids. If you have classes near to where you live. Please enroll as you also didn’t learn language from your parents you went to school and studied from someone.
Indian Values : Do your soul searching first and which Indian Values you like. Indian Values are flexibility, adaptability, sensitivity, warmth, helpfulness, community,deep thinkers, etc. Nobody can retain Diversity like Indians. Your sub culture is also important. Be the myth buster. There is lots of wrong saying about India and Indian-ism and you would be guru and source of information for your kid. Hota hain chalta hain attitude. Thoda 19/20. Things done in Indian Timing. Time pass.
Indian Festivals : Once again if you like to celebrate them. Celebrate it. If you like to celebrate festival of other countries and religion then do that too.
Indian News & Current Trends: My husband knows about India then I do. Keep yourself updated with Indian News and going ons but if you aren’t that kind of person who wants to know all then no worries. I do not go everyday to news section but here and there while dealing with Indians I come to know.
Indian Vacations : It is good to take them to cousins and to India but also retain your Indian Values by meeting and communicating to Indians in Western Country.
Your child knows what is best for them : Your child would pick up which would help them to be the best version of themselves. What I mean is that when I was 4 years old I told my mother I want to study in English Medium rather than My mother tongue medium school. That simple or might be only decision when I made helped me tremendously in my life.
Grow with your children : Again from Movie Befikre, Father says to Mother that “ Hum bacho ko bada nahin karte “ Bachein humein karte hain.
The truth is that we ourselves would have to be lot more Indian to give Indian values but truth is we no longer live as Vedas or how our Religion says. We all are little bit pick n mix , little bit “ I am not like my parents but….” and we have love for Global things.Don’t dishearten when they make Western or different culture choices and why shouldn’t they ? So real question is how does a Global Desi teach their children to be Global Desi too ? What would be the way to know that your child has been like you and yet be their own person.
Apple doesn’t fall far from their tree. Truth is You being You would help your child to be themselves. Truth is parenting can make us forget who you really are. They would be interested in other things as well. So every time they rebel they are asserting their own identity. What if not we are creating a wholesome independent individuals who are happy, care for their parents and love their heritage.
P. S: It is ok movie Befikre but has tremendous NRI Relation and parenting advice which I picked up.
I recently went to Caste System in India in Past Lecture in London and I was fuming after I came out and I had made mental note to write this post. Not because we are inherently prejudice and we hold it towards everyone but because India gets singled out as "Poster child " of world's problem. Fortunately or Unfortunately work came in between and I forgot to write. Here it goes while I am somewhat bit calmer.

This is post for people who do not live in India and who do not understand Caste System.
For People who think they are treated unfairly due to Caste System.


Firstly what is Caste System ?

From Wikipedia.

The caste system in India is a system of social stratification[1] which has pre-modern origins, was transformed by the British Raj,[2][3][4][5]and is today the basis of reservation in India. It consists of two different concepts, varna and jāti, which may be regarded as different levels of analysis of this system

Varna may be translated as "class," and refers to the four social classes which existed in the Vedic society, namely BrahminsKshatriyas,Vaishyas and Shudras.[6] Certain groups, now known as Dalits, were historically excluded from the varna system altogether, and are still ostracised as untouchables.


Caste System in India only stratified more when British ruled the country. Indain Brahmins never had troupes or they made slaved to Dalits like some ancient society.



Currently Caste System outside India has a very bad reputation and somewhat morally wrong to have a Caste itself. When you Google Caste System there are many articles for India. I didn't had to even type India.

The picture of Caste System portrayed by Western Media that it is of an ongoing oppression and
people are mistreated and way out is to marry someone outside  due to it is plain wrong.
In ancient times many societies apart from Indian were divided.




There are many things one should keep in mind.

Firstly the word CASTE isn't Indian. It comes from Portugal.
This was bought by British colonization of India.

In Hindu Literature there is no such word as Caste and there are words like Varna and Jati.

Also From Wikipedia :

Varna (वर्ण) is a Sanskrit word which means type, order, colour or class


As you would see from this word it can mean several thing however it doesn't mean Class only or especially Economic Class as stated in previous definition of Varna or as definition of Western or Catholic Protestant Society view.

However Class is more prominent word in Western and especially British Society as it defines somebody's income status. Class dictionary meaning

the system of ordering a society in which people are divided into sets based on perceived social or economic status.






There is no social mobility in some Class driven Society like Britain. The reason is there is a Royal Queen who would always be Queen and their Family would always be Upper Class. Princess Diana was once in a lifetime opportunity who became from Lower Class to Upper Class.


This isn't the case in Indian Society there is lot more Social Mobility. There was always lot more Social Mobility. We never had Pyramid Structure which Western Society has or liked to portray.

It doesn't mean British gave us our country but they help with confusion and mess they had created in past and today they are asking whether it is morally correct to distinguish or discriminate on caste ?

I would like to ask whether we like it or not is it right to discriminate based on how much money someone make ?

Within India view is that common people do not ask somebody's caste or realize whether they are being discriminated or not. It is somewhat non existent. India has diversity and always had diversity even before British came. There was no one big ruler or common law to govern everyone and that was because we believe in diversity and we always will.  




Not to say Caste System is non-existent now as Dalits or Untouchables have Reservation.
 They do not want to be classified as Dalits or Untouchables but are still looking for Reservation. I am sure there has been oppression and I have greatest respect for Leader like Ambedkar however Reservations it makes them - they want their cake and eat it too !

Let us talk about Varna and Jati. I believe it was group of people deciding to do something and in Indian Society it was never restrictive where Blacksmith son needed to be Blacksmith. Woodcutter Son needed to be Woodcutter.

Group exists in every society and there are many groups or so called charitable trusts which help in India and abroad based on their Surnames.

When people took their Surnames from their Parents they inherited that group and relations.

However If you do not like your name. Change it ! It is easier than you think.
Most people wouldn't even do that as they would be afraid to loose their group.

True Meaning of  Hindu Caste System



Apart from all the confusion and arguments on Western view on Indian Society and Caste System I would like to clarify the pure Hinduisms teaching / meaing of Varna and why they existed ?

We always need people for a society to run a person who can clean and person who can make decisions and be made responsible manager. At the end of the day that's how accountability works.

There should be another debate whether a person who is cleaner should be paid same wage as a manager or not. We all need somebody to blame at the end of the day.

Whether egalitarian society where everyone is equal and paid equal would work.
Unfortunately some countries in Europe tried that and they failed.




That is when whether one person who is smarter than rest should be rewarded or not ?
It is Group v/s Individual Success matters. Would you be happy to be paid same as somebody who was ten times stupider than you ?

Indian Value is of Respecting people as they are and that Caste System Stratifies and discriminates actually is opposite of our values. Everyone gets what they are given and we have to work towards being better at it. It might seem not equal and unfair but so is the whole world.

Choice is yours do you sit and feel sorry about it or whether you take it on your stride and work towards your goal ?

Where your family is the beginning and what you make out of it is upto you. Those are Indian Values and it clashes from Western Value of Fairness, Just and Common Law.

Just like your colour or race shouldn't stop you from doing things so shouldn't your Caste.



Like every part of the body is important in the same way it was important to have different types of people to run the society. It talks about interdependence and not hiearchy.

There are occasional cases which makes generalization of entire society in India.

Immigrants are in some way Untouchables in abroad we joke and like Racism whether it exists or not? That is one reality or one can think they can think that infact they can do whatever they want as they have an advantage of not being in system that is another reality.

When asked what is your Ethnic Background do you tick the box or not ? By asking somebody's Ethnic Background are you Racially Discriminating them ?

Caste System exists but Caste Prejudice doesn't exist in India.
It seems everyone is talking about fitness and it has become a latest new trend.
When people who were chubby or round at edges were considered wealthy.
Gone are those days but new days are revenge by skinny people.
It might seem they are having last laugh.

Most woman are of shape. Pear Shape, Apple Shape, Hour glass shape,etc.
Even that I think is so pathetic that woman are classified that way.

Some people think after seeing my recent photos is that I need to do some exercise....lol... as if they know my lifestyle already. I thanked for pointing out as I am not always aware of my flaws and I can understand well intention, well meaning people doing that. I am not Size 0 and never claim to be.




The whole point of  my this photos I post is  to inspire mothers like me who go to gym after having babies
Can not think of being in their swim suits. I like to eat 3 meals and I like to sleep. I do not agree with calorie counting , sugar and carb intake and who feel constant societal pressure to preserve their body they had in 20s. It is unrealistic to sustain and I have no problem with people who can.

It is really inspiring to hear weight loss stories but way things are heading it is to extreme where if you aren't going to gym you aren't taking care of yourself.  As I mentioned earlier I go to gym , I just don't like to talk about it but now I have. I don't take selfies in my work out clothes or while I am working out. As I do not wish to be part of fitness craze trend which says " Your body isn't good enough" or " You aren't beautiful enough".  

We all know what we are supposed to do. We are daunted with huge amount of media articles on what our ideal body weight should be and people who sell those products are taking people's insecurity and making money out of it. That is great too, somebody has to ! 

So here is the thing - I like fitness freaks. I like people who go to gym, I like people who don't go to gym, I like obese people, I like over-weight people. I like slim people. I like fat people. I like people of ALL sizes and shapes. 

BUT I hate people who make other people uncomfortable of what body they have.
I am sick and tired of culture where everyone is expected to look as below photos.


If you find my photo to be ugly then there are many more to come. You can poke as much fun as possible or feel better about yourself. I would advise you to look away.

As at the end of the day god has given me what he has and I would do best to keep it best it can but I am not going to kill myself or stress myself out. I wouldn't hold anyone to unrealistic expectation and especially me.

Sometimes what is most funny thing is that Men especially who are too fat or too skinny would look for women who are just average and try to put her down.
When woman appreciate man for whatever his shape form or just for his personality.
I do not expect all man to look like famous film star or model.
I am woman of shape and if I am not your type, it is ok. I do not have duty to this society to be skinny. 


If you think I am ranting because I am uncomfortable with my body. NO !
I feel really strongly about this. 
I am very happy with my weight and comfortable with my body and I would like other to feel the same.

I am just sick and tired of culture of "Body Shaming" and which says "You can never be too thin or too rich"
Being Fit and Healthy is one thing and expecting whole society to look same size is another. 
People need to start considering what is realistic and what is not. 

There are people who go through pregnancy,age, disease, genetically can't lose weight , lifestyle choice, personal prefrence but they are still working on it. Everyone is working on Weight Loss or Weight Gain to look good because we all are caught in Fitness Frenzy and Craze without questioning whether it is realistic to hold people to such standards.   

I also feel that if people were wondering about whether i am exercising I also wonder if people who are genuinely overweight have any hope.

25th June, 2016 :  I saw it was 48% Remain in the morning and assume that Remain has won. I re-checked and it was 48% Remain from total Turnout of 72% or something...
However I missed crucial information of 52% said Leave. It hadn't sink in to me what it meant until afternoon.

- It was been quoted as Independence Day by Nigel Farage.
- It seems nobody has plan on how to run the country.
- London should have their own currency and their own territory and M25 as border (joke)
- Scottish in a very good position as they could be re-negotiating terms with EU.

26th June, 2016 :
- Older and Younger Generation Debate.
- Lambeth the most Remain Council.
- Nicola Sturgeon still wants to be part of UK.
- Talks about Second Referendum.
- Not leaving EU atleast until 2019 but January is the month.

27th June, 2016 :
-  It is business as usual people can go to work and Travel reassured by Borris Johnson
- Very strong likelihood that Borris Johnson is going to be next PM.
- Financially still very strong said George Osborne
- Hate Crime and Racism increase covered by BBC.
- Looking for Loopholes to stop Brexit.
- Labour Shadow Cabinet have no confidence in Jeremy Corbyn.

28th June, 2016 :
- People feeling from EU feeling very vulnerable especially Polish.
- Lots of previous attacks on them.
- People still in shock and haven't understood how important their vote was or what it meant.
- Nigel Farage offends EU Leaders by telling them " He is having last laugh" and they haven't done day's work.
- Scotland has not disappoint EU

29th June, 2016 :
- Jeremy Corbyn refused to step down despite his Cabinet has resigned
- Stephen Crabb has been announced as one of candidates to race for Conservative Party Leader .

30th June, 2016
- Borris Johnson rules out as Tory Leader

03 July, 2016
-  No leaders has been selected on both Parties.

-------------------------------------------------* Initial Shock subsides * -----------------------------------------

04 July,2016
- Just when we thought it couldn't get any more shocking Nigel Farage resigns from UKIP


This is our window.


After silent and yet not so silent support of my husband to REMAIN - In. He is convinced and has no doubt of his vote to remain in and against Brexit.  His Facebook Post talks about Remain in and EU Referendum more and more.

People who live in Spain says that Britain should exit Europe.
To which people in UK say " You have not lived in the country for 2 decades"  shouldn't have a say.

Unfortunately they do and I being from India have also say on Britain's Future. Many would be unhappy but then again, UK did make choices and sometimes brutal choices for the world.




I on the other end also know what I will be voting for despite it seemingly won't make any sense to my husband.Why? My reasons would be different than Conservative Right Wing.

I take this opportunity to make more sense. I am an Indian and I am married to Englishman and it can't get any more multi-cultured family with families living around the world and personally lived in quiet a few countries.


I hear from lot of liberal and good friends and family WHY and HOW Britain should just accept Multi-culturalism. To be honest after living 5 years on and off ( I know they aren't many but are enough to be British Citizen and I have done my time it feels) Britain and UK has multi-culturalism.



What makes me say that is because of following

- UK has people working and living from every country.
-  London is boiling point of Multi-Culturalism with restaurants, celebration of festival, shops full of exotic food and drinks.
- In the last 5 years of my stay nobody has told me on my face anything which makes me think it is racist.

One would wonder how Britain hasn't accepted or appreciated Multi -Culture.
However having Multi-Culture and accept Multi -Culture are 2 different things all together.



Why Britain shouldn't Brexit ?

There are million good reasons from not being isolated to currency value. To have relationship with other countries and it is good for trade and economics has proved this many times. No man is an island. We all thrive to have relationship. Britain knows this better than any other country.


Why Britain should Brexit ? on the other hand which I see. 





Control Immigration : Despite what I previously said about Britain being multi cultured has little to do with how many Immigrants should come and remain in UK.

Most debates on TV are about Immigration at it's most important reason to Brexit.

At the heart of Brexit and mainly UK coming out of EU has actually snowballed from people who want to control Immigration. How has it snowballed ? From years lower class and some middle class was unhappy about their jobs being taken by foreigners.They thought all countries like India or China weren't capped. It was soon found that rules were made stricter and stricter for Non -EU Nations however door was led open to EU. It had led to free movement within EU and which UK agreed to.
The number of UK people going  out in EU and people coming is nearly same or less than 2% of overall Europe's Population.

When everybody else in EU are happy with Free Movement. Why is it UK isn't ok with it ? This is a difficult question. Only people of UK can answer but it is not a big country geographically as other countries say like USA or Australia.




UK/ Great Britain has lost it's identity and sense of Patriotism : So many countries , so many traditions and so many cultures within one country due to Raj and conquering world has led to UK lost it's identity and confused on how to behave. It has led people to be socially awkward. Despite Great Britain had hoisted it's flag world over in the past but same patriotic feeling is missing currently within the country. British People should be able to hoist their flag, sing their national anthem and take pride in their country. However not to the point of previous form of arrogance. Some are even more patriotic towards their Football team but not to their country.




UK has lost role in the world :  I spoke to a very intelligent British lad who was studying for being a Doctor and made me realize how UK as a country feels it has retired. UK role during colonization had been amazing and can be seen as glorious yesteryears of a young man.
Role of UK as a country or truly United needs a some sort of agreement to disagreements. UK has been asked to sit down or go and relax like a retired old man who insists to do something.

Royal Family : Royal Family gets tourism and gives an identity world over.  Despite having Royal Family there has been always sense of somebody being better or your family social status becomes very relevant in the society. Huge amount of Britain exiting EU can bring back them in power or things might go as they were before.



Being Commoner: Britain still enjoys many perks from around the world over because of  glorious past and has a sense of superiority or confidence to over achieve. I can see why it would be difficult to be commoner and start re-negotiating trade practices, getting EU scholarship money, visa rules, etc.



Mystery and Uncertainity: Like Pandora Box, I am a woman who likes to open boxes of unknown and uncertainity but hope doesn't come cheap. Truth is that Brexit means in some ways RE- DOING conquering of world without exerting false power and RE-EARNING trust of others. The real question is that risk averse country like Britain would ever throw dart in dark. That remains to be seen. Ofcourse there are no plans or information on what exactly would happen after Britain exits except Nigel Farage UKIP and Borris Johnson would lead the country.

I already know the answer - NO. Britain would never leave EU.

Few lessons which Brexit or debate has really opened up isn't the question whether it is beneficiary for Britain to be in EU?

The real questions or lessons are -



1. Being aware of impact of Free Movement : People have genuine or not so genuine reasons to complaint. As every complaint should be heard if not understood or acted upon. There would be always people who wouldn't be happy with foreigners. Love of Foreign Culture and Diversity can only be instilled as a country and from very young age.

2. Being Humble :  Whether Britain should be given Special Status it has enjoyed from centuries. Britain always enjoy better living standards and whether their people should be still complaining about their life ? Being humble doesn't mean self-deprecating humour.

3. Being Open Minded : Instead of Xenophobia and not outwardly or just things like restaurats and celebrations. To be truly open minded one needs to inwardly accept differences in society and most people struggle to live in diversity in Britain. Once again open minded doesn't mean nosy but it means

Are you giving same opportunity as others ?
Are you less biased ?
Are you looking for similarity in relationship or looking for various range of people ?
Do you only stick with people who talk like you or walk like you ?
Or You have multiple nationality friends in your circle but you still feel you are superior or better than them ?

It is a challenge that one doesn't want to change it's core values and yet appreciate others differences.
I think that is where Britain is. They tolerate difference but aren't able to truly ENJOY differences.
It is hard for whole generation and whole as country to enjoy diversity.



4. Genuine Friendliness to Foreigners : This is unseen where somebody would go out of their way to help foreigners. Forget help but just generally talking to each other is painful sometimes when talking to natives of  UK. As to help somebody truly one has to like them and there is still debate on whether Britain likes Foreigners or not. Genuine care and friendliness to foreigners is far away as Britain as a country are reserved which seems as an excuse.



5. Real UK : Behind PRO - UK news and media, outside UK world never hears about real problems UK are facing. To be isolated might not be answer to figure out Real UK but blaming immigration to all your problems isn't an answer.If NHS , Education System and infrastructure is being in stress maybe it is time to rebuilt some old to new. Rich and Poor are everywhere just some country have it openly whereas in Britain they are hidden in council homes.

Britain needs to know it's core values, traditions and culture before it interacts with the whole world. In short, Britain needs to get their act together and solve their internal problem and that is why I suggest Brexit.

Who says Brexit has to be permanent solution.  Perhaps Brexit might not long term but a short term - few gap years or decades for this very old student would be great !!!




6. Friendly and Spiritual Britian: Country which is a financial capital of the world where material wealth is accumulated and people are valued based on their ability to make money. I wonder what would Friendly and Spiritual Britain look like ?  Is world ready for Britain look like that? A country where Religion has taken back seat and most people are member of "Church of England" who doesn't practice their religion.

 There are too many painful moments and there are too many things done wrong and despite feeling associate guilt. Would Britain come out of their high horses of Queens and Kings and be equal to not so rich countries. Britain past is harshest and some countries are poor and they can say " Sorry we do not loot world over to be rich".

The real question is - Has Britain done enough good for world after doing so many bad things ?
Judgement should be passed not by world but by British people itself ?

Vote to Remain but there are always options to Remain Out but more importantly to do some Soul Searching for Britain's way forward and future.  
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