For World Problems - My Views,My Opinions and My Solutions

So a big Congratulations after the endless night of trying or rather easily you are super excited that you are going to have your first child. Perhaps you are little late damage is already done. I guess this is an article to read even before that. I am going to be brutally honest and I wish someone was to me. However just like people do not tell you truth of marriage nobody is really telling you how it is.

1. Babies and Children are cute as long as they are of others. : It is a ploy! All nature's ploy to make babies so cute. Women having their biological clocks ticking. Babies are so cute how can you resist them. You would love to have your oneself. Like a toy you saw at the supermarket only catch is you would not be able to return it to anyone if baby is yours.

2. Every parent is a perfect parent until they become one:  You would be scared to have this tiny creature who is totally dependent in you. You would have self doubt and on top of it you would have many advices from all the different sources. Never to take an advice from someone who hasn't had a child or who hasn't had it for a while. They are either inexperienced or too rusty.

3. It hurts a lot whether you are men or women :  Ofcourse women knows giving birth is painful to experience and yes there are medication but nobody tells you about pain after you have given birth. It hurts for a very long time even after giving birth depending on how good or bad your birth are. Your body has taken it's toll and it changes dramatically never looking back as you once had.You might think I am men I would be ok. Yes, when you carry your baby you do get kicked in your balls quiet a bit. It is hard to watch your partner suffer and it can scar men for life.

4. You deal with lot of shit :  When I started this blog and name came about becuase amount of shit I was dealing of my baby literally. It felt that's all I was doing while taking care of my baby. You are constantly dealing with poo, wee, cough, vomit,etc. Babies and Toddlers are violent creatures too. They kick, they hit and they scream and they shout. They are stubborn. You have to be calm in all this and that is a hard act to follow.

5. Two parents aren't enough: Even though it might seem that your parents mother and father bought you up just fine. I admire single mums and I also admire people who have more than one child. Two parents are just not enough to take care of a child as you would be sleep deprived for very long time and taking care of  your child constantly.  It takes a village to bring up a child however now as grandparents are living far or more and more us living in a smaller families it is difficult to find support which you require to raise a child.

6. Childcare can be extremely expensive: You wouldn't even trust anyone in the beginning to leave your child with anyone who provides childcare after scare of child abuse and child pronography. When you would finally trust you would realize it is extremely expensive. Even when you would start using them you would feel guilty whether you are spending enough time with your child.

7. You do not have life of your own : Unless you make it a point to create one.  Every waking minute your needs are put at back burner to put your child's need at first. Even if you are little selfish enough to take care of your needs you would always feel guilty. You keep worrying and you start talking about how your child has done something. Your thoughts are also about him.

8. You would be afraid of change and to take chances in life : It is no longer when you were young, single and free you could take your self anywhere without care or worry. Every decision to leave your child for a night, a day or fortnight has to be planned. You would be taking less challenges and wouldn't be willing to change your life dramatically as quick as possible. Your life would become routine because of your children. You would be afraid of minor to small changes which disrupt your life. Spontanity and quick decisions would soon be gone.

9. All your decisions will be damn if you do, damn if you don't :  So whether you should breastfeed or not, whether you should let them watch TV or not, whether you should let them sleep with you or not. There are no right or wrong answers. As there are really no parameters to figure out if you are good parent or not. However each of your decision would be questioned, criticized or make you wonder whether what you are doing is right or wrong.

10 It is thankless job : Nobody is going to pat you on your back or give you money for raising your own child. It is unpaid job with psychological, emotional and physically draining experience. It is like days going doing nothing but it goes very fast as well. The only thing is while you wait for your child to become 18 you are going to get old too.

Bonus: So why do it at all. Sorry if I have painted the bleak picture. I do not want to leave with what all parents say " It is extremely rewarding": That is biggest bull shit.
Truth is it is lot of hardwork and pain.

I guess most people do it because they are naive of work needed or shit going to be thrown at them. Some people can swim with same amount of problem while other can sink.

You are damned by nature it is what we do. Have children as it seems a logical thing to do after marriage. It is also sign of maturity and responsibility. I guess we do it for GROWTH.

P.S: Photo is of me and my son. It looks as if he is puking at me or I might look unhappy or stressed but I am happy cleaning his hands  ( it is my favourite thing to do ) and it also real picture of motherhood according to me.

So you are thinking of getting married. Congratulations! if you have proposed or going to propose.
Best way to get married isn't to think about it too much. The more you think the less likely you would get married. However these are things which would happen and perhaps you need to prepare yourself to these things.

1. Marriage is boring:
Very opposite to initial dating, chasing, waiting for somebody to be yours and all those dating games. All Gone Poof!  All those options you had or could have.

  You know you are going to be with someone and they know you are going to be with someone. This comfort of knowing you both are for each other. After an initial wedding or so-called honeymoon phase. Marriage is a long time commitment.

You really are thinking to get married someone to spend REST OF YOUR LIFE. That can be 5 years - 50 years.

2. It would take long time for you to get used to being married : 
It would be difficult for you to realize that man or woman you are planning to spend time with IS ACTUALLY your "wife" or "husband".

If you have been player it would be difficult for you to know how to behave with opposite sex.

or had a long dating history firstly you would be happy that you have found somebody but you would still find that living with only one person difficult and also question what about all the people you have dated or were in a relationship with. Just because you are married it would be difficult to tell where those relationships are in your life.

3. There would be lots of temptation : 
If you are decent looking and even when you would be minding your business. There would be always people who will be giving you mixed signals, flirting and getting you confused. OR Somehow you would be doing the same. Not knowingly but just being friendly but being married actually sometimes make a person more desirable. People always want to have what they can't have.

It is said that young women who go for the married man who wears ring in their hands. Yes, there would be lots of temptation and depending on how loyal to your partners and LOYALTY as a subject would be debated in your head.

4. Your partner wouldn't be enough : 
As much initial, you would want you both to be enough but you or your partner aren't substitute for people who you would need in your life. Like your friends, coaches, mentors, colleagues, parents, etc. If you suddenly had new hobby and your partner isn't into it , you would need other people who has same interest as you. You would need people to talk about your own marriage with others just to take a break from your day to day life. Sometimes this can feel opposite of the whole point of choosing the ONE.

5. You would be lonely : 
Just because you are married that doesn't mean you wouldn't be lonely.Yes, you would have a company but it isn't guaranteed that you wouldn't feel lonely.  Sometimes even you are in the crowd you can be lonely and so if you are getting married because of fear of being lonely. STOP !
How do you deal with your personal loneliness would also determine your relationship with others not only your partner? If you are in constant state of loneliness than it is suggested you look for therapy to find root of loneliness or find friends who would help you go through tough time.

Please do not read any further if you are going to watch this movie. I am writing for people who can't see the film and where it is ban. 

Spoiler Alert . Stop reading.

 Go watch film if you can. 

Are you sure you can't watch movie ?

Final Warning 


I saw lipstick under my Burkha in a private viewing in London. It is a story of 4 women 1 is young teenager(Plabita Borthakur)and she wears burkha and she is from conservative family and then she goes to college and wears jeans take part in protests to wear Jeans. She smokes,drinks and have a boyfriend ( Shashank Arora) She even steals dress from shop for which she gets caught because her boyfriend had pregnanted another girl who had to have abortion.

Second story is about a girl who works in beauty parlour girl ( Aahana Kumara) who is about to get married to a overly sweet nice boy ( Vaibbhav Tattwawdi ) because of pressure of her mother (Sonal Jha) ( her mother is also art model nude artist and she was going to get an apartment from her girl's fiance) but girl is in love with a muslim boy( Vikrant Massey) who is a photographer and also taking photos of their engagement. Beauty Parlour Girl has sex with photographer on day of her engagement and takes video of it. Her fiance is sweet gives her lots of gifts and attention. She would have to live in joint family and in crowded place. Her mother knows about other guy still wants her to get married to this fiance.She wants to run away to Delhi but then she doesn't because muslim guy isn't ready. He gets jealous when she starts getting close to her fiance. Her fiance finds video of her sex and confronts her. She is shown confused until end.

Third women is a Muslim woman ( Konkana Sen Sharma) married to a Muslim man ( Sushant Singh)
who used to work in Saudi and return after sometime and always used to have unprotected sex with his wife which would cause her to abort and take pills. They have 3 children and they have lots of sex but he doesn't treat her right or even kiss her. She had lot of pain but her husband won't wear condom. Doctor also explains. She is very ambitious and good saleswoman , gives speech and selling things but her husband doesn't know all this as she is afraid to tell him. She has been offered job for Sales Trainer. She finally realizes that her husband doesn't have a job until he is able to empty old building where they live to rebuilt and instead he goes everyday to a cafe. He even has an affair with another woman. She sees couple of times and then she follows affair woman and demonstrates some products. One of the product was for facial exercise and she basically offered from her mouth one to her. Affair woman says how can I take something which is from your mouth to my mouth. She then tells her I am wife of her husband. Husband then punishes her still with sex and asks her not try to be husband and remain wife.

Fourth woman  (Ratna Pathak) is also owner of building where they all live. She is old around 55 and government asking them to leave house as it is getting old. They are in Bhopal.  She goes swimming with kids and kid fools her that he is going to drown so she tries to save him but instead she gets wet. She is Buaji and she forgets her own name until very young and well built instructor asks him what's her name. She goes to buy swimming costume as she has been asked by this handsome swimming instructor to come for training.She is very shy and lies that swimming costume is for some other girl. She lies that she is going to satsang when actually she is going to swimming. She starts calling this handsome swimming instructor and they have phone sex. So when swimming instructor thought that he is talking to very young and beautiful woman called Rosy. Rosy was actually this old woman and he was very disappointed when he finally realizes that.  Buaji lived with other people and everyone comes to know about her Mills and Boons Collection in Hindi even people living with her and asks to leave building. They throw away all her stuff. 

Throughout movie there is also narration from Mills and Boons Hindi Version by Ratna Pathak . Devastated all 4 women sit together and only last 3 pages were left and they realize that they all have dreams and have courage to dream. It didn't matter whether they came true or not. 

My thoughts about movie : 

It is most liked by movie and really those are same sort of feelings felt by different women at different age. 

Whether as a Teenager you aren't able to pursue college fully or your interests.

Whether as a Young Woman you aren't able to decide whom  to marry.
Whether as a Woman with children you aren't allowed to work or your spouse is cheating on you while you are taking care of children.
Whether as a Widow you aren't allowed to have any life apart from being religious and if you are still alive and kicking sexually there is something wrong with you.

Why it got banned?

This is what wikipedia says :

"The story is lady oriented, their fantasy above life. There are contanious [sic] sexual scenes, abusive words, audio pornography and a bit sensitive touch about one particular section of society"

I personally feel the reason it got banned is because of name "Lipstick under my Burkha"

I also do not think that it represents all of India. At all times we should remember that this is just a story in some small place. However there is some reality in these stories but not all. 

Would "one particular section of society" (cough...Muslim/ Islamic) would be offended? I am not sure. It does bring up issue of Burkha but there isn't much said apart from her general suffocation in not being able to be creative whether by singing or by exploring fashion. Women are expected to wear Burkha but whether one sees this as restrictive or not is subjective. Subject of Burkha / hijab gets discussed in Western Countries quiet a lot. How somebody wearing it is seen as oppressive to women. However if you watch movie carefully underlying message is women are oppressed whether they are dressed in Burkha or not. One does realize that it has got nothing to do with the way they are dressed?

Another topic I felt that movie portrayal that young woman's definition of freedom to be equivalent to going to audition, how she dresses, smokes, drinks and having boyfriend could be sort of behaviour not wanting to be encouraged in Indian Society. None of them are interlinked. 

Somebody wearing saree doesn't define that she is morally good or has good character.
Somebody wearing trousers and shirt tell that they are having many boyfriends.

Men were also portrayed in a lousy light. Indian Men are portrayed with horror of domestic violence, rape,etc. 

Why it shouldn't have been banned?

India is and have always been open about sex until it was colonized. We invented Kama Sutra. We don't want to talk about sex. Actions like this reaffirm that India is conservative and not ready for Indian female voice. However seeing several Bollywood Film I can confirm that Indian youth and society is ready for this sort of movie. Whatever was in the movie is actually happening in real life. There are lots of western movies with lot of nudity is in cinemas and on prime time TV in India.

It is very much acceptable to talk about Rape in India in a daytime television but not Female Sexuality which is indeed shame.

It is wonderful story of 4 women and it is funny and relatable to most women and would have been good education for men.

I recently met a wonderful girl and we had wonderful conversation about writing. I sat in a room full of 100s of people and person next to me is the only person  whom I really need to talk to on How writing helps and as usual I asked lots of questions.  I love her even though I have only seen her once and I look forward to see her work one day finished as I think it would really help lot of people.

I am writing in response to this wonderful blogposts

We both agree nothing happen by coincidence.

What is good about La La Land?

Apart from obvious it is set in LA and it has lovely music dancing and singing.
La LaLand despite shot in most cheesy way and have over the top animation.

Real : Movie is real. In real life, most Love Stories do not have happy ending.

American Dream : It also talks lot of reality of life of actor,pianist, hollywood and struggles they both had. Mia and Sebastin

Crossroads :  It talks about cross roads in everyone life and how making different choices would have let them live different life. Despite I believe that you fight for things you REALLY want. I also feel that there are sometimes circumstances which are beyond our control. (a bit coward approach! which I don't agree with but sometime shit happens !) Everything happens for a reason ! I don't see it that way always and I question so much but in the end everything always makes sense.

Choices :  Despite Mia and Sebastian love each other they both could have made different choices and  they both equally were selfish or career driven and they both helped each other in their life whether Sebastian taking Mia to that acting audition or whether Mia telling Sebabstian about Jazz bar.

Amazing Ending : I would only see that movie all over again just for that movie ending. As much as we really want happy ending sometimes reality isn't that happy.  It was sad that Mia and Sebastian couldn't be together but had they made different choices they would be in different situation, perhaps Sebastian would be driving her to some Jazz club and they would live happily ever after or they could have been really incompatible and end up killing each other. Who knows?

Closure : It is essential for lovers to get closure to have that one correspondence, one sentiment and that one look. This isn't always possible as how ugly couple might have left or they find it overwhelming to give that closure due to various reasons.  Sometimes that's all relationship need and people need to move on. There is this one scene where Mia is horrified to see Sebastian after being successful actress and having husband and child. Seeing Sebastian in his own Jazz club but they both give each other one last look which said so much from "Everything is okay!" , " You would be alright!" , " I am alright!"  I guess lots of couples got closure by relating with actors. Hopefully lots of broken heart got mended, healed or got closure  and thus I think people liked this movie.

P.S: You wouldn't believe while I am writing this in a pub on TV  there is song of La La Land. :-)

I didn't really want to share this but I feel it could be helpful who is like me trying to raise children abroad or just generally raising a child and how hard it feels.

I have 2 and half years old son who is mixed race.
I would say best way for busy Indian Parents to retain their Indianism is following :
Before I start realize this that you are Indian and that is your identity. Your child wouldn’t be Indian per se.
Like in Movie Befikre girl calls herself French and parents as Indian.
That is biggest truth that your child is going to have other host country Identity and Indian Heritage. The truth is that no matter how we feel inside and how much we adapt “ We are seen as Indian “ because of our skin colour and that we can’t change.
However your child would be influenced by you and you can give positive influences and share your culture with them.
It is harder than ever to retain and at the same time as Millenials we do not feel we should be pushy like our parents.
It is hard not because we don’t know how to balance East or West influences. We ourselves are busy adapting and knowing new culture. I have reached a state where I can say that I know about my host culture well enough that my time isn’t going in reading and learning new things.
Firstly bigger question is how do you retain your own Indian identity ? Are you Proud of your own Indian-ism ? Also Is it important to you ? as I feel we go through love hate with our own ties. Unlike our previous generation we aren’t so much nationalist and more of globalist. This is where India is as well which I realized on my recent trip.
India is not a country not a chaos but an environment which you can’t replicate. There are pictures of god, faith and hope everywhere.
Indian Spirituality : This is our core and most important value which is missing in West. Make a small ritual which you can share with your child. We do not want our children to be smelling like our past generation parents mistake and made fun. It might be as simple as lighting diya and having god images. Shradha, faith, belief in Karma and Hope which one gets from God. Where Science and Religion can live together with fight. That is what India is. Go to Indian Temples if near you. Watch Philosophical youtube videos.
Indian Food : Enjoy all your Indian Foods as you used to and share with your children when you can. They would be also into other foods. Why Not ? Aren’t you as well. However make some point to make those Indian foods which you crave. Your child wouldn’t like it but you are still enjoying it and hopefully they would remember. When we are busy defrosting chips, pizzas and colas.
Indian Bad Habits : As cliche and as it sounds but West has got all good things and left all bad things in India. Your child wouldn’t know phenol smell like Indian Toilets have or how to use normal soap maybe ( shower gel ?) ,how to cross a road, live in crowded places, without electricity, water,internet,etc, he wouldn’t have same toilet habits as you. Remember all parents want to give better living to our child but I feel somewhere we want them to know and learn hardships of life which and appreciate good life.
Yoga, Meditation and Ayurveda : We ourselves don’t value this despite it is good thing in our life and people are promoting all this in West. Most times I come to know good things like Yoga, Meditation and Ayurveda from Western person who has decided to make it into courses or videos. Go to those places and if you are into it. Use those natural products.
Indian Movies and Songs : If you like to watch Indian Movies and Songs then watch them and if your child is interested. My son dances on Indian Song and he watches . Love of famous actors and actresses. Indian Sports especially Cricket.
Indian Language : This gets trickier as there is more Media in English even in India. There aren’t enough resource to teach your native language and everytime I go I buy books which my son sometimes refuse to even read. I still bring them keep them around and sometimes he picks up on his own. So speak your own language even when you feel alone or only person who speaks to your kids. If you have classes near to where you live. Please enroll as you also didn’t learn language from your parents you went to school and studied from someone.
Indian Values : Do your soul searching first and which Indian Values you like. Indian Values are flexibility, adaptability, sensitivity, warmth, helpfulness, community,deep thinkers, etc. Nobody can retain Diversity like Indians. Your sub culture is also important. Be the myth buster. There is lots of wrong saying about India and Indian-ism and you would be guru and source of information for your kid. Hota hain chalta hain attitude. Thoda 19/20. Things done in Indian Timing. Time pass.
Indian Festivals : Once again if you like to celebrate them. Celebrate it. If you like to celebrate festival of other countries and religion then do that too.
Indian News & Current Trends: My husband knows about India then I do. Keep yourself updated with Indian News and going ons but if you aren’t that kind of person who wants to know all then no worries. I do not go everyday to news section but here and there while dealing with Indians I come to know.
Indian Vacations : It is good to take them to cousins and to India but also retain your Indian Values by meeting and communicating to Indians in Western Country.
Your child knows what is best for them : Your child would pick up which would help them to be the best version of themselves. What I mean is that when I was 4 years old I told my mother I want to study in English Medium rather than My mother tongue medium school. That simple or might be only decision when I made helped me tremendously in my life.
Grow with your children : Again from Movie Befikre, Father says to Mother that “ Hum bacho ko bada nahin karte “ Bachein humein karte hain.
The truth is that we ourselves would have to be lot more Indian to give Indian values but truth is we no longer live as Vedas or how our Religion says. We all are little bit pick n mix , little bit “ I am not like my parents but….” and we have love for Global things.Don’t dishearten when they make Western or different culture choices and why shouldn’t they ? So real question is how does a Global Desi teach their children to be Global Desi too ? What would be the way to know that your child has been like you and yet be their own person.
Apple doesn’t fall far from their tree. Truth is You being You would help your child to be themselves. Truth is parenting can make us forget who you really are. They would be interested in other things as well. So every time they rebel they are asserting their own identity. What if not we are creating a wholesome independent individuals who are happy, care for their parents and love their heritage.
P. S: It is ok movie Befikre but has tremendous NRI Relation and parenting advice which I picked up.
I recently went to Caste System in India in Past Lecture in London and I was fuming after I came out and I had made mental note to write this post. Not because we are inherently prejudice and we hold it towards everyone but because India gets singled out as "Poster child " of world's problem. Fortunately or Unfortunately work came in between and I forgot to write. Here it goes while I am somewhat bit calmer.

This is post for people who do not live in India and who do not understand Caste System.
For People who think they are treated unfairly due to Caste System.

Firstly what is Caste System ?

From Wikipedia.

The caste system in India is a system of social stratification[1] which has pre-modern origins, was transformed by the British Raj,[2][3][4][5]and is today the basis of reservation in India. It consists of two different concepts, varna and jāti, which may be regarded as different levels of analysis of this system

Varna may be translated as "class," and refers to the four social classes which existed in the Vedic society, namely BrahminsKshatriyas,Vaishyas and Shudras.[6] Certain groups, now known as Dalits, were historically excluded from the varna system altogether, and are still ostracised as untouchables.

Caste System in India only stratified more when British ruled the country. Indain Brahmins never had troupes or they made slaved to Dalits like some ancient society.

Currently Caste System outside India has a very bad reputation and somewhat morally wrong to have a Caste itself. When you Google Caste System there are many articles for India. I didn't had to even type India.

The picture of Caste System portrayed by Western Media that it is of an ongoing oppression and
people are mistreated and way out is to marry someone outside  due to it is plain wrong.
In ancient times many societies apart from Indian were divided.

There are many things one should keep in mind.

Firstly the word CASTE isn't Indian. It comes from Portugal.
This was bought by British colonization of India.

In Hindu Literature there is no such word as Caste and there are words like Varna and Jati.

Also From Wikipedia :

Varna (वर्ण) is a Sanskrit word which means type, order, colour or class

As you would see from this word it can mean several thing however it doesn't mean Class only or especially Economic Class as stated in previous definition of Varna or as definition of Western or Catholic Protestant Society view.

However Class is more prominent word in Western and especially British Society as it defines somebody's income status. Class dictionary meaning

the system of ordering a society in which people are divided into sets based on perceived social or economic status.

There is no social mobility in some Class driven Society like Britain. The reason is there is a Royal Queen who would always be Queen and their Family would always be Upper Class. Princess Diana was once in a lifetime opportunity who became from Lower Class to Upper Class.

This isn't the case in Indian Society there is lot more Social Mobility. There was always lot more Social Mobility. We never had Pyramid Structure which Western Society has or liked to portray.

It doesn't mean British gave us our country but they help with confusion and mess they had created in past and today they are asking whether it is morally correct to distinguish or discriminate on caste ?

I would like to ask whether we like it or not is it right to discriminate based on how much money someone make ?

Within India view is that common people do not ask somebody's caste or realize whether they are being discriminated or not. It is somewhat non existent. India has diversity and always had diversity even before British came. There was no one big ruler or common law to govern everyone and that was because we believe in diversity and we always will.  

Not to say Caste System is non-existent now as Dalits or Untouchables have Reservation.
 They do not want to be classified as Dalits or Untouchables but are still looking for Reservation. I am sure there has been oppression and I have greatest respect for Leader like Ambedkar however Reservations it makes them - they want their cake and eat it too !

Let us talk about Varna and Jati. I believe it was group of people deciding to do something and in Indian Society it was never restrictive where Blacksmith son needed to be Blacksmith. Woodcutter Son needed to be Woodcutter.

Group exists in every society and there are many groups or so called charitable trusts which help in India and abroad based on their Surnames.

When people took their Surnames from their Parents they inherited that group and relations.

However If you do not like your name. Change it ! It is easier than you think.
Most people wouldn't even do that as they would be afraid to loose their group.

True Meaning of  Hindu Caste System

Apart from all the confusion and arguments on Western view on Indian Society and Caste System I would like to clarify the pure Hinduisms teaching / meaing of Varna and why they existed ?

We always need people for a society to run a person who can clean and person who can make decisions and be made responsible manager. At the end of the day that's how accountability works.

There should be another debate whether a person who is cleaner should be paid same wage as a manager or not. We all need somebody to blame at the end of the day.

Whether egalitarian society where everyone is equal and paid equal would work.
Unfortunately some countries in Europe tried that and they failed.

That is when whether one person who is smarter than rest should be rewarded or not ?
It is Group v/s Individual Success matters. Would you be happy to be paid same as somebody who was ten times stupider than you ?

Indian Value is of Respecting people as they are and that Caste System Stratifies and discriminates actually is opposite of our values. Everyone gets what they are given and we have to work towards being better at it. It might seem not equal and unfair but so is the whole world.

Choice is yours do you sit and feel sorry about it or whether you take it on your stride and work towards your goal ?

Where your family is the beginning and what you make out of it is upto you. Those are Indian Values and it clashes from Western Value of Fairness, Just and Common Law.

Just like your colour or race shouldn't stop you from doing things so shouldn't your Caste.

Like every part of the body is important in the same way it was important to have different types of people to run the society. It talks about interdependence and not hiearchy.

There are occasional cases which makes generalization of entire society in India.

Immigrants are in some way Untouchables in abroad we joke and like Racism whether it exists or not? That is one reality or one can think they can think that infact they can do whatever they want as they have an advantage of not being in system that is another reality.

When asked what is your Ethnic Background do you tick the box or not ? By asking somebody's Ethnic Background are you Racially Discriminating them ?

Caste System exists but Caste Prejudice doesn't exist in India.
It seems everyone is talking about fitness and it has become a latest new trend.
When people who were chubby or round at edges were considered wealthy.
Gone are those days but new days are revenge by skinny people.
It might seem they are having last laugh.

Most woman are of shape. Pear Shape, Apple Shape, Hour glass shape,etc.
Even that I think is so pathetic that woman are classified that way.

Some people think after seeing my recent photos is that I need to do some as if they know my lifestyle already. I thanked for pointing out as I am not always aware of my flaws and I can understand well intention, well meaning people doing that. I am not Size 0 and never claim to be.

The whole point of  my this photos I post is  to inspire mothers like me who go to gym after having babies
Can not think of being in their swim suits. I like to eat 3 meals and I like to sleep. I do not agree with calorie counting , sugar and carb intake and who feel constant societal pressure to preserve their body they had in 20s. It is unrealistic to sustain and I have no problem with people who can.

It is really inspiring to hear weight loss stories but way things are heading it is to extreme where if you aren't going to gym you aren't taking care of yourself.  As I mentioned earlier I go to gym , I just don't like to talk about it but now I have. I don't take selfies in my work out clothes or while I am working out. As I do not wish to be part of fitness craze trend which says " Your body isn't good enough" or " You aren't beautiful enough".  

We all know what we are supposed to do. We are daunted with huge amount of media articles on what our ideal body weight should be and people who sell those products are taking people's insecurity and making money out of it. That is great too, somebody has to ! 

So here is the thing - I like fitness freaks. I like people who go to gym, I like people who don't go to gym, I like obese people, I like over-weight people. I like slim people. I like fat people. I like people of ALL sizes and shapes. 

BUT I hate people who make other people uncomfortable of what body they have.
I am sick and tired of culture where everyone is expected to look as below photos.

If you find my photo to be ugly then there are many more to come. You can poke as much fun as possible or feel better about yourself. I would advise you to look away.

As at the end of the day god has given me what he has and I would do best to keep it best it can but I am not going to kill myself or stress myself out. I wouldn't hold anyone to unrealistic expectation and especially me.

Sometimes what is most funny thing is that Men especially who are too fat or too skinny would look for women who are just average and try to put her down.
When woman appreciate man for whatever his shape form or just for his personality.
I do not expect all man to look like famous film star or model.
I am woman of shape and if I am not your type, it is ok. I do not have duty to this society to be skinny. 

If you think I am ranting because I am uncomfortable with my body. NO !
I feel really strongly about this. 
I am very happy with my weight and comfortable with my body and I would like other to feel the same.

I am just sick and tired of culture of "Body Shaming" and which says "You can never be too thin or too rich"
Being Fit and Healthy is one thing and expecting whole society to look same size is another. 
People need to start considering what is realistic and what is not. 

There are people who go through pregnancy,age, disease, genetically can't lose weight , lifestyle choice, personal prefrence but they are still working on it. Everyone is working on Weight Loss or Weight Gain to look good because we all are caught in Fitness Frenzy and Craze without questioning whether it is realistic to hold people to such standards.   

I also feel that if people were wondering about whether i am exercising I also wonder if people who are genuinely overweight have any hope.
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